July 30, 2004

The dream is always the same. It starts in an unfamiliar building that vaguely reminds me of my middle school. It's also completely empty. I wander about the halls for a while until I'm suddenly overcome by this incredible fear. I don't know why, but something scares me so much that I climb inside an air conditioning duct to hide from it. I stay in the duct for what feels like hours, too scared to move because it's hunting me, waiting for me to move.

Eventually I work up the courage to crawl through the duct a few inches at a time, praying that it won't hear me. I finally get outside, jump out of the duct, and RUN LIKE FUCK. It chases me. The area around the building is huge and confusing, like those fucking developments with nothing but two square miles of identical prefab townhouses on hundreds of little twisty streets.

I run through the maze of identical houses, too scared to look behind me. I don't need to see it, I can FEEL its presence. I keep running for miles, but I'm getting tired.

Finally I reach the edge of the development. There's a footpath through one of the overgrown fields surrounding it. I haul ass out of there to find myself in a familiar area - down the road from my elementary school. The fear decreases from "OH FUCK IT'S GONNA KILL ME" to "I've got a bad feeling about this". I stop for a moment, glance at the path I just came down, and it's gone. No path, no trampled plants, only an undisturbed overgrown field.

I stand there for a few seconds to catch my breath, then the fear hits me again and I take off down the empty road toward my parents' house three miles away, getting more and more tired until I can't take another step ...

and I wake up, sweating, heart pounding, sheets kicked off the bed.

In real life, there's a cemetery where that field is.

May 14, 2004

Now hosted on Apis Networks.

February 27, 2004

I went to Rulloff's with Josh and Natalie and Kelly and Praveen and Kelly's friends and drank a lot of beer ("half hour until last call and we've still got three pitchers! drink up!") and Natalie took my lighter and when I tried to take it back she bit me (through a heavy coat and two shirts) and left a big mark and it hurts.

April 7, 2003

Jerkcity is the best webcomic ever.

February 22, 2003

Worst Friday ever. Someone turned the building heat all the way down over the night so it was like 45 degrees in here when I woke up. I skipped bio lecture to work on the damn online group project for Comm 440, but then the cable goes out for 3 hours so I can't get to the website to download the latest version of our paper, so I can't really do anything. Eventually the cable comes back on, I download the paper and post on the forum letting the group know I'm going to be working on it, but then all of Collegetown loses electricity and I lose all the changes I made.

Two hours later, the power comes back on and I go check the forum to see that the impatient overachiever of the group decided to do my part by herself so she could go out with her boyfriend (which she'd been saying she was planning to do for the past three days). BUT, she based her changes on the really shitty first draft instead of the revised one that I sent out two days ago, so I had to go back and re-fix all her awful grammar.

After I finished that, I made dinner and downloaded stuff for a while, then Tom and Josh came up from Ithaca College and we went outside and sat on the scumbag bench to make fun of the drunks coming out of Rulloff's.

"Don't you scumbags have anything better to do than sit on that bench and make fun of people all night?"

February 15, 2003

Well, yesterday didn't suck nearly as much as I expected. No one tried to sell me flowers or condoms or whatever the hell those people on Ho Plaza were selling, and instead of a repeat of last year's sitting home drinking myself into oblivion with the stereo blasting to drown out the sounds of the neighbors fucking, I went to Highland with Jim and Dave to play Super Smash Brothers on their Gamecube. It was kinda weird since none of us actually live there, and it took about three hours before anyone noticed we were there.

February 14, 2003

Someone who calls himself "adaptive systems" posted this on the SA forums over a year ago:

Some of us are destined to never find companionship, never find lasting solace in the arms of another, and the sooner we accept this, the sooner a new world of previously unimagined dangers opens up to us.

In the exploration of these dangers, we become living testaments to the virtues of struggle, and gain a stamina that others shall never have the privilege to know.

Rather than drift into slumber in the bed of an eternal stranger, we seek a bed of flames, and with no partner, no pair, no twin, we attain a singular uniqueness and inflict upon ourselves a solitude that is the unhealing wound from which all our strength flows.

We alone know that all flesh is grass, that all promises are fantasies, that all dreams are narcotics.

We alone live without lies, without the need to enslave or to be enslaved.

We write the stories of our lives patiently, and from the other side of death. The realm of eternity is ours alone.

January 23, 2003

I had my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago. There's a huge hole where one of them was and food keeps getting stuck in it no matter how hard I try to keep it clean. This afternoon this THING came out of the hole and I don't know what the fuck it is. It doesn't look like anything I've eaten recently.

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October 1, 2002

Ah, the joys of college apartment living. I've been living in a tiny studio apartment off campus since sophomore year, after I got one of the worst numbers in the on-campus housing lottery and had to choose between looking for an apartment, or having a less-than-100% chance of getting a dorm room, which, if I was lucky enough to get one, would be very small, far away from everything, and have a randomly assigned roommate. Even though it was months after prime apartment-hunting season, I asked around and had a few people refer me to my current building, where I had a choice between a small one-room ground-floor apartment, or a two-room one on the fourth floor. Since there's no elevator, I took the ground floor.

This place is a bargain, at less than half the price of the fancier buildings like 312 College Ave, but cheap housing comes with a variety of interesting things.

The furnishings: My "desk" is a full-size door with the metal bits removed, sitting on two piles of cinderblocks. I bought a small filing cabinet that conveniently fits underneath to give the illusion of having a real desk with real drawers.

If the refrigerator is set at the proper temperature, the freezer produces huge amounts of ice that I have to knock out once a month with a hammer and a dull knife. It also makes a strange gurgling sound a couple times a day, almost like it's draining onto the floor, but I've never seen any puddles from it.

The plumbing: Sometimes the hot water comes out scalding hot within five seconds; sometimes it's ice-cold, and after running for ten minute it heats up to room temperature. Interestingly, flushing the toilet has no effect on the temperature or pressure of the shower.

The heat: I have a large steam radiator and several poorly-insulated hot water pipes on my walls, all of which either pump out huge amounts of heat or none at all, so the temperature alternates between that of a Siberian winter and the ninth circle of Hell. The knob on the side of the radiator has absolutely no effect, and after talking to several people who lived here last year, we figured out that the thermostat in apartment 6 controls the entire building's heat. Apparently whoever is living there this year has no idea of the power they wield since it's been down to 35 degrees at night and the heat is still off.

The neighbors: The walls in this building are paper-thin. My bathroom is right up against someone's bedroom and I can hear everything that goes on in there. Last year, the residents threw a lot of parties in their apartment featuring horrible rap music played loud enough to make my windows shake. They never answered the door or paid any attention to yelling through the wall or their open window, or to speakers placed against the wall playing the extended dance remix of the Smurfs theme, or air raid sirens, or Cannibal Corpse. The ONLY song that was annoying enough was TACO's SONG FOR THE STUPID RAVER SHITHEAD WHO LIVES UNDERNEATH ME AND ALWAYS PLAYS HIS SHITTY MUSIC REALLY LOUD AND MAKES MY FLOOR VIBRATE AND AT ONE POINT HE LEFT HIS ROOM BUT LEFT THE STEREO ON AND IT SKIPPED AND I HAD TO LISTEN TO IT FOR FOUR FUCKING HOURS. It never took more than five minutes of this before they turned their music off and went somewhere else.

Those people moved out, and were replaced by people who have loud sex at 8:30am on Saturdays.

The upstairs neighbors are Korean, and like to have all their Korean friends come over and listen to crappy Korean music while leaning out the window shouting in Korean. They also seem to enjoy doing something that sounds like dropping bowling balls on the floor, usually around 4am on Sundays.

The other building: If I want to go to Collegetown, I can either walk all the way around the block, or take the shortcut through someone's yard, and past another apartment building whose fourth-floor apartment is occupied by a pack of stereotypical fratboys. They're out on their balcony every night, drinking beer, shouting "HEY FAGGOT" at passersby, and throwing beer cans at people and cars.

August 30, 2002

jesus christ what the fuck is wrong with you people

August 9, 2002

Now that I have a decent layout for the site, I suppose I should write some content.

Most crappy e/n sites feature long, poorly-written whines about girlfriends, social life, and family members. Since I live by myself and have neither of the former, and in fact do nothing at all besides going to work and playing computer games when I come home from work, that leaves me with a slight shortage of things to write about.

Work's boring and there's not much to write about it, so here's some ramblings about the only other thing in my life this summer - idiots on the internet.

I'm an admin on the ArsClan Day of Defeat server so I get plenty of contact with the stupidest people on the internet - THE GAMING IDIOTS

Most of these are 14 year olds on summer vacation who get their jollies by pissing off strangers on the internet. My server's name has "FF ON" (friendly fire) in it, the welcome message says FF is on, and every 10 minutes the server brings up big, green, bold text in the center of everyone's screen that says FF IS ON, IN CASE YOU ARE AN IDIOT, and still there's hordes of retards who shoot their teammates in the spawn area because "wtf i didnt no ff wuz on". And no, I will not turn FF off, I will not change the map just for you, I will not kick my buddies so your idiot friend can connect, I will not make you an admin, I will not let you into my clan, I will not do anything except BAN YOU AFTER YOU WALK UP TO ME, LOOK AT ME, AND THEN STAB ME IN THE HEAD WITH THE KNIFE YOU FUCKING MONGOLOID

Some of them do this intentionally. Why? Who the fuck knows? I don't see how pissing off a bunch of internet people could be considered fun, especially when most of them are so stupid they don't realize it was a teammate who killed them.


Some of the clans we have to play against are so mind-blowingly stupid I can't see how they managed to get ten guys together and put a server up. From this afternoon in our IRC channel: (this guy came in every day last week demanding a match, then when our scheduling guy finally responded to him, he gave us an AOL email address that doesn't work)

[17:43] CrazyMarshMan: KORN R U THERE?
[17:44] CrazyMarshMan: HELLO N E 1 HERE!!!!!!
[17:44] CrazyMarshMan: HEY
[17:44] CrazyMarshMan: NE1 HERE
[17:46] CrazyMarshMan: HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[17:48] CrazyMarshMan: ok yalla re having aclan battle aginst us wednesday u do rember right?
[17:52] CrazyMarshMan: i dont no our ip i still havent gotten it
[17:54] * CrazyMarshMan has left #clanpwn
[17:54] Griz: jesus
[17:54] sYmYn: what a fucking tool